Sunday, March 31, 2013

Crying at Work

I cried at work on Friday, and it wasn't the first time.
I believe I'm up to three cries at work now.  I don't think I've even cried that much in my personal life lately.

This instance on Friday was sparked by frustration, as it always is.  Frustration that I can't express without tearing up.  As a woman working to be respected and break gender barriers (I'm the only female doing camera work at the station), these tears don't suit me.  But somehow they're always there.  Whenever I have a point to get across, or a complaint to bring up.

I'm pretty sure I've cried at every job I've had.  At least every professional job, which is where it's especially appropriate, right?

My boss pulled me into her office as I fought back tears on Friday.  Told me I'm doing great, asked what's really bothering me.  It was a nice talk.  I even expressed to her how much I hate my inability to hold back tears.  It undermines my opinion further.  She told me just to wait.  That down the road when I have kids, when there are bigger issues in front of me on a personal level, the stuff that's getting to me at work won't even matter.  Not that it shouldn't she said, but it just won't.

So now I wait.  To stop taking work so seriously.  And to learn how to care about work without crying about it.