Stressed Out Sisters

I cried last night about my new job.  What if my reporting isn't up to par?  What if they fire me?  What if I don't fit in well at the station?  As Spencer tried to comfort me, Allison text me, "I'm a sadball, stressball," she said.  She too was having a hard night, packing for the move into her and Walker's first home, realizing how much stuff they have since emptying out my mom's house.

Then a minute ago Amy called on the verge of tears.  She visits a potential new home for an overnight stay tomorrow, and as excited as she is, she's terrified.  She needs this home to adore her, as her current house doesn't.  I'll be dropping her off for the visit tomorrow.  Amy mentioned how much she wished mom would be there instead. 

So much stress.  So much change.  And yes Amy, I wish mom were here too.  I would love to tell her about my new job, she'd be so excited.  She'd adore Spencer.  And on moving day she'd be there, sitting on her walker, watching me break my back, or scrubbing the stove until it shined.  But no mom.  It's the girls for themselves now, trying to fill her spot for one another, as life keeps on moving along.

Biding Time

While yes, I have been offered a job, starting there takes time.  Drug tests, background checks, and of course, the good ol' apartment search.  My starting date is still up in the air (it was initially August 1).  The station is willing to push it back further since their paperwork isn't in order yet, and because I can't move into my beautiful apartment until August 11th.  I may still be staying in a hotel or crashing on someone's couch for a week if they have me start earlier, however, that is yet to be determined.

Either way, my new home.  Correction.  Spencer's and my new home!  Yes, he is moving with me.  We're both putting our name on the lease.  But also conveniently chose a two bedroom that I can afford on my own, so if things do go sour, well, I'm not completely screwed too as I can then choose to get a roommate.

It's a big deal.  27.  Not only moving in with your boyfriend, but relocating with him.  It will be an adventure, one we probably wouldn't take so quickly if it weren't for the situation, but nonetheless, one we both agree we're ready for.  Also,  in case I haven't mentioned yet, Spencer is amazing.

 

 Apartment hunting aside, I haven't had a ton to do.  If anything I have more free time than ever before I don't have to spend my days applying for jobs.  And so, I've been painting over old paintings...creating even more hideous creations.  Torturing Zoe with the help of Spencer's campy talking bear-rug he just found in his parent's garage.  And I spent a good five hours at the Aveda Institute the other day, having my hair permanently straightened with their Smooth Infusion treatment.  I had it done a year ago and it really works.  Costly, but totally worth not having to fight curls in front of the camera on a rainy day.

Mom

Driving back to my apartment last night, Spencer points to a woman in a car beside us, "She looks like your mom." The woman did.  She had flowing hair just above her shoulders that was mainly gray with remants of brown.  Dimpled arms.  And square plastic glasses.  But Spencer's never met my mom, and that's why the moment was significant.  It reminded me how much she is living on in the stories we tell and the pictures we share.

 

Smoke Free

Today marks 30 days since Spencer has had his last cigarette.  He's amazing.

Hired!

I got the call at 10:41 this morning. The assistant news director for a station in Indianopolis took a while to say it but finally it came, "...and we would like to offer you the position."  I gasp, squealed, thanked her, and said, of course, I would join their team, become the station's new morning reporter.  No need to discuss salary, benefits, or other details, (which all followed and are ideal) this is the job I want.  I'll be two hours from Allison and Walker, just over three from Amy and the rest of my family.  And it's an amazing career move.  Market 25 (signifies the 25th largest TV audience in the country), and a new type of reporting as I've never covered morning news.

The face of sheer happiness.

The hire comes after, as of Friday, five months of unemployment.  After applying to nearly 150 positions.  Countless interviews, rejections, and even some offers that I've turned down because the position or station didn't feel right.  From Minneapolis, Portland, and Cleveland to Michigan, Missouri, and New York, I've had moments, days or weeks between interviews where I thought I may have found my new home.  But now I actually have, and I'm so relieved.  No details on when I'm moving quite yet.  That will come.  But it's happening. 

Coping with Kitties

A tough day for Amy today. And understandably. A staff shortage at her home forced her to lie in bed past noon-that's 16 hours of bed rest. She lay wide awake for four hours waiting to be given her mobility as she listened to everyone else in the house move about. It's unacceptable and will be taken care of, but until then, Spencer and I cleared her head with cats.

As kids mom always took us to the local Humane Society. We'd hold cats, sometimes dogs, and once in a while take one home. The visit to Naperville's shelter was a nice reminder of those days and a good chance for Amy just to see some felines as she no longer has the opportunity to live with them.

My Goal of Grilling

Another goal achieved as I've finally cooked over a grill. Weird, right?  27 and had never done it myself.  Spencer and I had our brat BBQ Friday evening as soon as the rain broke.  He held his breath, trying not to give me directions, as I told him my goal would only be achieved if I did it without help.  I sounded like a stubborn four-year-old, and yes, cooked on a gas grill, rather than charcoal, but I did it.  Goal achieved.                                  



California, Sierras, Summer 2006

NOTE:  As I was finishing this post I realized, I'VE GRILLED BEFORE!  I spent a summer starving kids as a camp counselor for a weightloss adventure camp six years ago.  I cook nearly all their meals over a gas grill.  But does it count if it's cook over a grill in pot or pan?  Ha, either way, I guess I'm not as much of a newby as a thought, although I'm still applauding myself for my brat fest.



Sick Cats

Petey and Emma won't stop throwing up.  Okay, Emma won't stop.  Petey's gotten a few good ones in though.  Clear liquid puddles have been covering my, thankfully wooden, floors.  I stopped by the vets, he thinks they're clogged up with hair, and so I've turned to Laxatone: an over the counter medication that is disgustingly sticky and despite claiming to taste like catnip, the cats want nothing to do with.

Tried coating their, usually irrestible, treats in it.  But they were too smart.  And so I did what my parents did when I wouldn't take my Robitussin as a child.  I held them down and forced it down their throat.  It was a scene.  Petey fought especially hard.  But, well, I won, and got an adorable photo of Petes trying to clean the sticky mess off himself afterwards.

Fingers crossed this does the trick as I can't afford hundreds of dollars worth of vet bills.

Reconnecting

A Mini High School Reunion: Me, Kelli, Jenny, and Emily holding the babies. (Niveah, Molly, Ella, and Noelle)

One of the main reasons I began the '101 goals' list was in the hopes of final reconnecting with people from the past.  There are so many people I love and adore that I haven't made the effort to visit or talk to over the years.  That said, the past couple weeks have been amazing as I finally reached out to old friends, have been reunited, and well, as expected, have had an amazing time.

I visited Kelli in Winnebago.  We hadn't seen each other for maybe two years, despite the fact that she's just lived an hour and a half from me for the past year.  Her husband took Spencer and I boating on the Rock River, double bonus for reconnecting.

Maddie, also from high school, and I have seen each other twice in the last couple weeks, as she just moved to Chicago to take a teaching job.

Seeing old friends.  It really has made me happy.  I saw most of them in Galena (see first picture), when I went back for the first time in nearly two years.  The last time I was there I was actually with my mom, celebrating her 60th, and final, birthday. 

The town has changed.  As a once-local who hasn't visited much in ten years I really notice it.  It's little things.  Like the way the Newton's old home on Park Ave is now light blue rather than white.  The mansion Jessica P's dad had been working to fix-up for years on end, right across from Grant Park, looks as though it's finally finished. And it's bigger things.  Rec Park has been completely reworked.  You can no longer drive in a circle around the park: the road mom used to bounce along to pick us up from the pool has been covered with grass, picnic benches and playsets have been built over it.  A wide sidewalk has been put in along the road leading to the pool (it was always an unsafe bike ride growing up). What was once Sullivan's or Stair's (our family's small-time grocery store followed by a number of other businesses) is now a bridal store.  The gas station by Piggly-Wiggly (formerly Dick's) has been turned into a Chinese Buffet.  No joke.  There's a new hospital on the west end of town and, a disappointment to me, Galena's green flood gates have been painted beige.  Just outside of Galena, in Dubuque, Cinema Center 8 is gone.  The place where mom and dad took us to countless movies on hot summer days, is now just a field of parched grass.

I could go on for far longer, and also list all the people who are now married, who have families, who have passed away, there's just so much change.  Looking at it from a distance makes it apparent.  With mom gone, seeing the changes made me even more sentimental.  Parts of our families past have literally been bulldozed, built over, repainted, and forgotten.  Life really does go on. 

It's why it's been so great to reconnect with high school friends.  They represent a link to my past.  My family's past in Galena. Connections to them mean I still have a link to my hometown despite having no super close family there.  It's odd for my sisters and I.  We grew up in a town where we don't have a home anymore. It makes it easy to forget how many memories are there, and how much support.  After going back, I feel grounded again.

Galena, IL